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July 22, 2013 / Andee Frizzell

The Dinner Party

dinnerMarty and Cindy, a wonderfully domesticated couple I know here in Toronto invited me to a dinner party on Saturday night.

The evening began at the usual Canadian dining hour of 8:00pm. Hors d’oeuvres were served in the living room while arriving guests were introduced to one another. The hors d’oeuvres consisted of an amazing homemade bruschetta and a guacamole dip with chips.  The wine pairing was perfect.  I met about six other couples and one weird, single cousin ‘Phil.’ Can you say set up?

I’ll add here that if you are planning to do something like this to your single friend bear in mind that single people are people too and just because we are single does not make all single people an instant match. Cousin Phil is 40 and lives in his parent’s basement. He has a job that requires a plastic name tag. Just saying.

On to dinner. I am sat between Cousin Phil and Gladice, the neighbourhood busy body. Over the appetizer and much of the main course (an apple cranberry quinoa salad and a quinoa mushroom risotto delicious) Gladice hammers me with questions and the entire table seems to be continuously eyeballing myself and Cousin Phil hoping to see ‘sparks.’

“You’re single? But you seem so nice, articulate and attractive?” Gladice wonders. DON’T ever say this to a single person. Seriously. This line of questioning only serves to make the single, me, feel like I am some kind of broken bit or a closeted nutcase that only surfaces after coupling has occurred.

“Don’t worry. There has to be someone out there for you. I mean the odds are in the billions,” (referring I’m assuming to the amount of people on the planet) Gladice adds with a slight nod in the direction of Cousin Phil.

Phil wants in on this humiliation so he asks me,”So you’re an actor. Have you been in anything I’ve seen?” I hate this question and often wonder why no one asks a doctor if they know anyone he’s operated on to validate his credentials. I’m getting a bit cranky at this point.

“Please pass me the bottle of pinot grigio.” I ask, then leave it within reach of my plate.

During dessert, another beautiful homemade lime sorbet, (did I mention Marty is a chef?) the rest of the table decides to get in on the discussion of singledom.

“I would NEVER want to be single in my 30’s.” said with disdain like being single is a horrible, incurable disease.

“Have you tried internet dating?” like the only reason I’m still single is lack of effort.

The rest of the evening continued in much the same vain; me, deflecting humiliating, belittling comments while gulping down white wine and Cousin Phil looking wounded by my efforts to avoid him.

As I rode home in the back of the cab, I contemplated my life choices and decided that the hardest part of being single was not dating, cooking for one or having to make your own soup when you’re sick, its suffering everyone’s help on the issue.
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  1. arcticgoddess / Jul 22 2013 1:45 pm

    Time to tell everyone you’re a closeted nun.

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