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April 29, 2013 / Andee Frizzell

A Sign of the Times

bloomersThere are certain things about getting older that well…are inevitable and with some measure of dignity we can accept them as the natural progression of life; mystery body aches that appear after little to no activity (like sleeping), the dreaded wrinkles and the experience to know when you are doing something very stupid, again.

Then there are certain things about getting older that are to me, completely unacceptable.

Last week on an annual errand (refresh the undergarment drawer) I found myself faced with an intolerable consequence of aging.

I entered the lingerie store and was immediately assailed with the brightest, most elaborate designed underwear I had ever seen. There were bins full of lacy, neon polyester swatches that constituted as underwear bathed in unnatural beams of light with a sassy underage salesperson in charge of FOLDING the tiny patches into balls.

Once orientating myself in the labyrinth of neon clad torso mannequins, I asked the sales attendant for assistance in finding the white cotton underpants bin. She looked at me like I had just teleported from the 1970’s and with a snap of her gum and slight tilt of her golden locks to the left she exclaimed, “White cotton panties? No one wears white cotton underwear anymore. We don’t even have those in stock.”

She then gestured to the bins of ciaos coloured bloomers suggesting I upgrade myself with the current trends.

WTF! My underwear has been discontinued?

An insufferable sign of aging; having to shop for underwear at Walmart!


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