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February 18, 2013 / Andee Frizzell

T.I.P.S

boratMy girlfriend, Jordon, worked as a server in a gentleman’s club a couple of years ago. Let me highlight the important words in that sentence; SERVER in a strip club.

“Strip clubs are so main stream now,” Jordon would say, “Just like regular clubs really, full of girls because they don’t have to pay cover and full of men because well, there are girls there and some are naked.”

One night at work Jordon noticed a guy come into the club with a body guard. “He looked like a Borat bobble head doll, only shorter.”

Immediately after seating himself at the rail, his body guard, ever so vigilante standing behind him, he snapped his fingers and bade Jordon over to take his drink order.

”Vodka, orange juice, “he demanded curtly, in a thick middle eastern accent.

Jordon placed his drink in front of him; he proceeded to pull out a wad of twenties and after pealing one off the stack, tossing it onto her tray he declared, “All the change. I want all my change.”

“No problem. “ Replied Jordon as she counted out twelve dollars in loonies and placed them in a neat little piles in front of him. This was repeated about three times or four times.

Finally, the Borat bobble head had had his fill of orange juice, pant pockets bulging with loonies he waddled up to the waitress stand where Jordon was cashing out other tabs, declaring, “I want a massage.”

Jordon pointed to the girl that gave hand, neck and shoulder massages and said, “ Sure, have a seat, I’ll send her over to you.”

“I want a private massage.”

“ OK, during your massage, close your eyes and you’ll be all alone,” suggested Jordon.

“I want a private massage at my hotel.”

“Sorry, we have take out,” Jordon stated.

“I will pay.”

Jordon then grabbed one of the paper beer coasters and scribbled a name across the back of it and handed it to him.

“When you get back to your hotel, give this to the concierge and tell him you want them to call this person.”

“How do you say this name?”

“It’s pronounced, Mr. Baldnutz.”

*For those of you unfamiliar with Mr. Baldnutz, it is a 24hr home service advertised in most adult sections of your local newspaper, which will come to your place of residence and shave your…. nutz.

T.I.P.S     To Insure your Privates don’t get Shaved.

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2 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. Patricia Stewart-Bertrand / Feb 22 2013 8:51 am

    You certainly have interesting friends… 😉

  2. Slam / May 27 2013 4:24 pm

    I want someone to treat me with disrespect so I can do this to them. (I am definitely not right in the head.)

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