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February 12, 2013 / Andee Frizzell

Paying It Forward

uhaulHave you ever run into someone you know that is going through a major break up and notice immediately that they have a radical new hair style? Perhaps it’s a completely different colour or they’ve shaved it into a bleached blonde Mohawk (actually happened), that screams, something terrible has happened and I’ve lost control of myself and my razor. 

I’m not one to mess with my hair, being a model and an actor, my hair isn’t exactly mine to do with it what I want, so during a messy break up, I usually remodel my apartment. I take out walls, rip out carpets and buy all new furniture, or don’t and end up sitting on the floor to eat cereal for six months.

After my last break up, I decided on a whole new motif for my digs. I rented a Uhaul to truck my old furniture to a storage space. If you are unfamiliar with a Uhaul, it’s a huge cube van that has an overhanging canopy over the cab. Which, if you have ever rented a Uhaul, know that this feature is not covered by the $16.00 all inclusive accident insurance. Now you see where this story is going.

I solicited the help of my friend Kay, whom I assumed would make a great moving partner as she is a personal trainer and in amazing shape. Note here that this was not the case, you know how the assuming saying goes, (Assume makes an ass out of you and me), and gets a sofa dropped on your hand.

I decided to donate my lush indoor plants to a friend of mine who lives in an apartment building only minutes from my place. We, I, packed the Uhaul and we headed over to Roberts.

Roberts building has an open entrance with an archway that has a sign CLEARLY stating a clearance height of 12 feet, I wasn’t thinking at all about the canopy which has a clearance height of 11 feet, until I heard the undeniable sound of concrete scrapping the roof. I made it through the archway, barely, only to notice once I was through that some over jealous gardener had grown vines, thick, tree like vines around the trellis sometime in the early part of this century, making them very hardy, kind of stone like, and had forgotten to change the entrance clearance height to just over 11 feet. Because of years of use, the entrance pavement dipped as well, so once I was in, the ass of the truck was now raised another inch making a retreat with the canopy intact completely impossible.

I assessed my situation. I was trapped in a busy apartment entrance way with cars lining up to get through, Kay, suggesting I send out a batman signal and just a few inches of hard wood separating me from freedom. I’d like to state here that this is the only time in my adult life I ever wished for LESS inches in the wood category.

I thought, how can I lower my ass? Or better, how do I raise my front?  Quickly I scanned the parking lot for abandon lumber to make a ramp like lift behind the two front tires. Of course the only lumber to be found was sticking out at multiple angles from the roof of my Uhaul.

How could I make this fucking truck less tall? And then it hit me, AIR. Let the air out of the tires and the truck will lower.

Amongst honking horns, Kay’s pleas to call a man, any man and shouts of ‘What the fuck lady?’ I got down on my knees and started letting the air out of the tires. I watched, relief flooding my body, the truck began to lower. I let out just enough air to back out and get to the nearest gas station to fill those tires back up before Uhaul could get wind of what I had done.

I made a vow that day to relay this story to anyone and everyone I came into contact with just in case they ever found themselves in a vehicle with a canopy, trapped under a concrete overpass and completely lost as to what to do about it.

Then from a distant crevasse of their mind there will come the sound of my voice, whispering gently, “Let the air out.

You’re welcome.

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