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January 29, 2013 / Andee Frizzell

Day One

waterVancouver British Columbia to Wallace Idaho

I had to pull off the highway early tonight as there is a white out blizzard in the pass. I opted to drive through the USA, figuring it is a shorter distance, cheaper gas and is sans the Canadian Shield in the winter! BORING! My first exciting road story took place only a few hours in.

Ever try and open one of those cheap 500mls of water with one hand while driving 120kms an hour through a snow storm? I swear the bottle only has enough plastic in it to keep it up right under the pressure of gravity. As soon as you squeeze the sides it collapses like a tube of toothpaste. And the lid, the dime sized cap that is super glued on is near impossible to unscrew. So as I was manoeuvring my truck through death valley and attempting to open said water bottle, it exploded all over my brand new heated seat cushion, that plugs conveniently into the cigarette lighter. So of course I leapt my butt up and off the seat, thinking I was going to be electrocuted. The headlines, “Woman Steamed to Death by Ass Warmer.”

A Few Things I have Learnt On The Road

1. Don’t jump up and down in front of the gas pump, waving your arms and screaming “Woot! Woot!” while fist pumping the air at the unbelievable low cost of gas. This action makes the gas station attendant VERY nervous. And he has a gun.

2. Not all highways are paved alike. Thank you British Columbia and Idaho, Washington State WTF!!

3. Eye of The Tiger played at an ear splitting volume repeatedly will counter the effects of the sleep induced coma from eating a Burrito Supreme from Taco Del Mar.

And finally, to the lady on I5, just outside of Everett, that nearly side-swiped me while talking on her cell phone; I was unable to give you the finger as both my hands were on the steering wheel avoiding a collision with guard rail you nearly rammed me into.

So officially, UP YOURS! You’ve been served. 

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3 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. Patricia Stewart-Bertrand / Jan 29 2013 3:01 am

    Um, you don’t see the irony in complaining about a woman on her cell phone while you were trying to open a bottle of water? Just sayin’ Don’t clobber me. I’m too cute to die by Wraith Queen! 😉

    • Andee Frizzell / Jan 29 2013 3:05 am

      Touché! Touché! Point taken! Lol And yes, you are too cute to suffer a wraithing!

      Sent from my iPhone

  2. Eugene thiessen / Jan 29 2013 3:18 am

    Every journey begins with one near death experience,,,,, glad you got that out of the way,,,,,,

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