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October 9, 2012 / Andee Frizzell

The Important Questions

Today, after my yoga class finished, I was rolling up the mats when I came across a sticky,  smooshed black blob stuck to the underside of one of the mats. I picked it off and before the impulse control centre in my brain could shout, “Don’t touch that unidentified, foreign substance suspiciously welded to the underside of a communal mat,” I placed the object directly under both my nostrils and inhaled deeply.

This is where I should pause for effect, let your brain conjure up a picture of me sniffing at this substance like Blue from Blue’s Clues, on a caper, allow that image to contort your face into a grimace as your imagination contemplates just what the scent was…

But I won’t do that just for dramatic effect, it had a fruity odour.  It turns out it was a date. That’s when my impulse control centre jumped back into action after clearly having fallen asleep at the wheel.

It screamed at me, “What the hell are you doing with that ‘shit’ looking substance? You know this is an indoor shoe only zone but EVERYONE wears their disgusting outdoor footwear in here. That substance had high odds of being a piece of dog shit!”

It suddenly became very clear to me that I had nearly sniffed dog shit.

Who does that? Clearly, someone who gets their nose in shit then asks the important questions later.

That’s who.

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One Comment

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  1. Patricia Stewart-Bertrand / Oct 15 2012 8:00 am

    All I can say is…”Ewwwww”!

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