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September 12, 2012 / Andee Frizzell

Click, Snap, Pop Not A Breakfast Cereal

Well, I’ve had an exciting morning. I was nearly crushed to death by my own truck as I tried to change the rear back tire. Nothing gets the blood pumping faster than the click, snap sound a jack makes when it pops out from under the wheelbase and you are squatting directly behind the vehicle.

I now have an answer for those annoying 4-4-4-4 email survey questions my friends keep forwarding me, asking ‘what sounds frighten you?; click, snap, clang and pop; my four most frightening sounds.

Clearly I was not crushed into a pancake, or I won’t be writing this blog. I was saved by my ninja lightening reflexes for leaping out of the way quickly, then asking, “What the fuck was that?” and a kind neighbor who stumbled upon me breathing heavy, swearing and texting an SOS to any friend who is unfortunate enough to live near me, as my truck teetered on the rim of a half removed deflated tire.

As a single, I can do it myself, kind of woman,  I was attempting to change my tire ALONE in the parking garage. I have changed a tire before and wasn’t too worried about it until the jack popped out and the truck started to roll back, catching at the last minute on the half extracted wheel.

That’s when I thought perhaps changing a tire ALONE was not the smartest idea, as now I had to get the jack out from under the truck to reposition it all the while thinking one gentle shift of the earth’s crust and I could become a Jackson Pollack painting.

Luckily, my unsuspecting neighbor entered the scene. He positioned himself behind the truck and held it there while I scrabbled underneath and got that pesky flipping jack. This is a THANK YOU shout out to David, my amazing neighbor!

After a quick google search that showed the sweet spot, a nub that the jack was supposed to fit onto, (who knew), and David’s help I switched the tire out for my spare.

Every time I change one of my tires, I learn something new. Like the last time, I learned that the jack is expanded inside the wall of my truck so to extract the jack you have to turn the top to the left. (I nearly shit my kidneys into my pants trying to yank it out).

I had been doing donuts in an empty parking lot after a huge snow fall and had hit some uber sharp ice which punctured the wheel so deeply that when I cut the engine, you could actually hear, SSSssss.

The point, you may be asking yourself? Well…here’s my point. Always the entrepreneur, I’m thinking I should create a Single Woman’s Survival Bootcamp. Flat tires, (how to use a jack and tire iron), clogged toilets and or slow draining pipe, (how to use a plunger) and BBQing (how to light a bbq and not blow up your neighbourhood). It could be set up like an obstacle course!

Every lesson will start with, “Never attempt to do this ALONE. Have someone present to call 911 and who will be able to post the video of your demise on YouTube just in case you become a Darwin Awards statistic.”


One Comment

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  1. Eugene / Sep 16 2012 10:57 am

    Please add “wheel-chocks” to your lessons-learned vocabulary. Safety first!

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